Monday, 6 April 2015

Terrible Two's and Tantrums

IHi guys,

So my little Angel, my contented little chap who is always happy has begun transforming into an Autobot!

We have been dealing with tantrums for a couple of months on and off. It seems to be worse when we are out in public, which means I am left red faced and feeling embarrassed while he is rolling round on the floor.

Now I have read all the research about tantrums and how it is all about being frustrated about not being able to communicate what they want. But you see,  Alfie has no problem communicating what he wants. He just does not like the word NO!

I have also read that I should look out for the signs of growing frustration and try to avoid a tantrum but I can honestly say his tantrums can come out of no where and the only way to avoid it is to give in and give him what he wants and surely that's a sure fire way of creating a spoilt little monster  boy.

So what to do?

I have found that ignoring him when he is having a tantrum really helps when we are at home, that's obviously a little trickier when you are out and about. By ignoring I mean I will walk out of the room that he is having a paddy in and ignore him until he stops. I also found that walking away and starting to sing also helps as he is clearly aware that I am not giving him attention and I have removed his audience.

I have also started going through with anything I say. This works well when we are out and about. This is something I have only been doing for a few weeks but I think when he realises that when mum means business, she means business it may prevent tantrums.

An example of this is that I took him to our local bowling alley and arcade last week, he was really excited and wanted to ride on the motorbike type game. I was happy with him sat on the motorbike until a guy wanted to go on and actually play the arcade game. I explained to Alfie that it was someone else's turn and lifted him off the bike. This resulted in him squeaking and crying and lying on the floor in the middle of the arcade. So I got him to stand up and went down to his level and told him that if he continues to have a tantrum, I would take him home. He continued to tantrum so I picked him up and explained that I had warned him and took him straight back to the car and we went home. He kept telling me that he was sorry and that he would be a good boy but I really feel that I have to go through with what I say or warnings will have no affect on him.

I must admit I felt awful, I hate to see him cry and I was really tempted to turn the car around. But this does seem to be working, he now seems to take head of my warning if he is not doing as he's told.

He is a very clever lad so I make sure I explain why I am doing these things so he understands that there are consequences to his actions. He has a very big personality, just like his mummy and I don't want to dampen his spirit in any way but he also needs to listen to us.

This seems to be the most affective at the minute. Other things I have tried include the naughty step but he would happily go and sit on it with a big grin on his face so I didn't feel it was having the desired affect.
He has such a good bedtime routine, I have never wanted going to bed to be a punishment as how can I then expect him to willingly go to bed of a night?


Here he is on the bike in the arcade, its like butter wouldn't melt, you would never guess we were moments away from a full tantrum.
He is generally a well mannered, gorgeous little boy and tantrums are not a constant thing and that could be why when he has one, it seems so bad.

If anyone has any more ideas about how to avoid tantrums, I would love to hear them.


Take care

Adele xxx

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